today, i saw dr hum in my ward. the dr who took care of my mum when she is still around. she is the nicest dr i ever seen though she is already a consultant. i have been wanting to see her again ever since aug. and i finally saw her again today. i thought i could be like my usual self and chat wif her whenever she comes for home visits. but i was wrong, the moment she gave me a hug and ask me how i was coping. my tears jus keep flowing. probably becos no one had asked me how i was coping ever since she was not around. i know they dont wan to remind me about the unhappiness. keeping everything inside me is not healthy but i really dont feel like sharing it wif others probably becos im trying to escape reality too.

im too used to have her around. im still not used to it.